2013 has been a crazy year, hasn’t it? Between my decision to go back to school, then leave school, then starting a new part-time job, then getting a full-time job (writing and editing!), all the while dating a guy for five months and breaking up over nothing, I feel like a recap would turn into a novel. So rather than ramble on, I am going to summarize the lessons I’ve learned in the past few months.
The Ex, formerly known as Guy, is a great guy. When we decided to end things at the end of August, I was sad and a little heartbroken, but I didn’t fall into old (bad) habits or freak out. In fact, my first reaction to “getting dumped” (even though technically it was mutual) was a neck spasm. I kid you not. It was like all of the stress and upset that came with ending a relationship with a guy I really liked had formed a terrible knot in the back of my neck and refused to loosen. I drove home from The Ex’s house in such immense physical pain that I couldn’t even stop to be upset about what had just happened. When I got home, my folks and sister were also just getting home. I had called ahead to let them know that I’d been dumped and (more importantly) that my neck was in excruciating pain, and when I walked in my dad gave me a tylenol, my mom warmed up a soothing neck beanbag thingamajig and my sister handed me some Flexeril, a muscle relaxer I’d been prescribed when my neck pain started a few months earlier. I sat on the reclining chair, barely moving my face, explaining to my parents what had just happened. And that’s when something weird happened. We all started laughing. Of all the reactions to being dumped, laughter was definitely not one anyone was expecting from me.
I fell asleep on the chair and woke up feeling a little better. Of course, with the immense physical pain subsiding I now had time to feel like crap about the end of a relationship I was really starting to become invested in. But I went on with my life, started my full-time job, weeped a bit in therapy and stopped being so hard on myself. Did I backslide? A little – I got in touch with him hoping he would want to start again or try over, but when I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, I took a moment to feel awful…and accepted it. I’m sure I’m still going to think about him and feel bad about how things ended and see little reminders of our time together here and there. And I’m still a little angry that it all went south. But I wish him the best, and I hope he figures out whatever he’s got to figure out.
So…I’m not sure if it’s too soon, but I have a date tomorrow! A Starbucks date. In a moment of loneliness I signed back up for Match.com, and then received a charming email from a cute (at least in his pictures) guy. We talked a bit, exchanged numbers, I let HIM call ME, and we’re meeting for coffee. Did I mention he’s CUTE? Again, I’m not sure if I’m ready for this…but how will I know if I don’t try?